Am I A God?

Chapter 177: The Poop Cleaner and the Disconnected

Translator: Sparrow Translations Editor: Sparrow Translations

Zhao Yao’s avatar crouched behind the door, biding his time. The moment an opponent entered the room, he unleashed a fury of bullets that hit the unwitting enemy, whom would crumple to the ground.

Zhao Yao did not finish him off immediately. He switched on his mic and asked, “Hey asshole, do you still like chasing me now?”

“Hey, bro, chill out. I’m sorry, okay? Let me go, please,” the opponent responded.

“Sure, as long as you call me daddy,” Zhao Yao chuckled.

“Oh, go to hell.”

That prompted Zhao Yao to pull the trigger and kill him.

Rice Cake, who had been observing the entire exchange unblinkingly, was bursting with excitement because she could hear the pain in the enemy’s words.

As Zhao Yao snooped through the dead opponent’s weapons and items, a rapid succession of bullets pierced his body. He fell to the floor and tried climbing away.

“You think you can get away with killing my teammate, boy?” his attacker taunted.

“Bro, chill. We’re on the same side,” Zhao Yao said, echoing his victim’s words.

“There’s no “we”. Call me God and I might spare you.”

“F**k you. Why don’t you kill me if you have the balls to do so.”

This resulted in a terribly violent end for Zhao Yao’s character. He was beaten to death with bare fists.

“C’mon, guys! Get your asses here and kill this son of a bitch. I need revenge!” Zhao Yao yelled into the microphone.

His angry outburst brought a smile to Rice Cake’s face.

“This is it,” she said, “This is how I make the humans suffer. I turn them against each other.”

Her eyes were transfixed on the screen, thoughts running through her head.

“This is most interesting. I shall observe your ugly nature, humans, and use it as part of your downfall,” she thought.

She spent the rest of the day studying each and every round of PlayerUnknown’s Battleground Zhao Yao played. Every time he killed an opponent or mocked them, she felt a perverse surge of happiness.

But when she saw Zhao Yao getting killed, well, she felt nothing short of unadulterated joy.

While she watched the screen, the rest of the supercats were watching her.

“What the heck? She’s been in Zhao Yao’s arms for far too long! Even I don’t stick to him like that!” Matcha said bitterly.

He turned to Roly Poly. “What do you think, Roly P?”

The fat cat was sprawled across a table, drooling and fast asleep. Being kept up all night by Rice Cake’s snoring took a toll on him.

“Trash,” Matcha muttered, turning to Elizabeth and Dust Ball instead, “What do you guys think?”

Elizabeth blinked a few times before letting out a yawn. She did not sleep well either.

She did not have the mental and emotional capacity to think about Rice Cake. She just wanted to know when Zhao Yao will finally let her know the new wifi password. Everything else was secondary.

“I should be able to connect to the cafe’s wifi still,” she pondered, “It’s just about finding the right time to try it...”

Dust Ball did not care about what Matcha said either. All she could think about as she lay on a table was catmint.

“I’ve cleaned up the toilets, Zhao Yao. When can I get the new batch?” she asked him telepathically.

Zhao Yao cracked a smile as he continued his match.

“Dusty Girl,” he started, “As long as you clean up after them every day, I’ll give you a bag of high-quality catmint every day in return. What say you?”

“Every day?! That wasn’t the deal! You lied! You’re not trustworthy!” Dust Ball cried.

Zhao Yao chuckled darkly.

“Dusty, you’re too young and too naive. No one is trustworthy in this cruel world,” he said with an air of experience, “But think about it. My offer works to your advantage. Receiving one big lump sump shipment won’t last as long as daily packs of catmint. Work hard and your supply will never run out.”

When Dust Ball shot him a suspicious look, he smiled brightly and rubbed the back of her head.

“I’m sure you don’t want to ever experience the pain of living without catmint again, do you?”

Involuntary tremors ran down her spine.

Having received no reply, Matcha tried provoking the cats into eliciting some form of reaction.

“Hey, trash collector, aren’t you on the same side as that fake Scottish fold?”

Dust Ball paused his conversation with Zhao Yao to cast Matcha a death glare. “Shut your trap, peasant.”

Matcha responded by gasping, then dramatically pressing his white paws on his chest. He folded his ears flatly against the top of his head.

“Who are you calling a peasant? Me?” he asked with mock exasperation and disbelief.

“So, what do you say, Dusty?” Zhao Yao asked, bringing his attention back to their discussion.

“Would you rather journey down the path to glory or continue being like any of these other cats? Work for me and I’ll guarantee that you’ll always have a bag of catmint at hand.”

“A pack a day? That’s five packs in five days,” she stretched out one paw, then the other, “And 10 packs in 10 days!”

She continued counting even though the number had exceeded what she could represent with her paws.

“I’ll do it!” she concluded.

The rest of the day passed quietly.

Now that Rice Cake’s condition had improved, she did not sleep excessively or snore loudly. She was perched on Zhao Yao’s lap, watching his every move in the game. She would dance joyfully when something exciting happened.

After the Princess Qian incident, Matcha was no longer burdened by affairs of the heart. He could wholeheartedly focus on Mobile Legends again.

Roly Poly continued to eat ravenously and Dust Ball began to work hard at clearing the poop stored in his extradimensional belly.

As for Elizabeth, well, things were not going quite as smoothly. Today marked the second day of her internet disconnection.

It turned out that she underestimated Zhao Yao’s pettiness. He had changed the cafe’s wifi password as well, much to her chagrin.

“Grr!” Elizabeth hissed, snapping her jaw at the customer in front of her.

Yan Xiao Qing jumped and took a quick step back.

“What’s wrong with Elizabeth?” she asked, “Why is she so scary today?”

Elizabeth had always been the most gentle and affectionate cat. Even when Xiao Qing got too carried away and hugged her with too much force, she would just pat her politely to ask for some space. She would never scratch, bite, or hiss at someone.

“What’s going on?” Coco Sun asked, brows furrowed.

She had donned a kimono today.

“Elizabeth is always obedient. If she’s acting like this, she could be ill.”

As the cafe’s most frequent customer, Coco had learned a lot about cats and their behavior during her time here. She knew that well-behaved cats that suddenly became aggressive were probably not feeling well.

She called for Baiquan, “Is Elizabeth sick? She’s not quite herself today.”

Baiquan hurried over to the girls. His first response was to reach out to Elizabeth and scratch her head to soothe her, but she turned to bite his fingers immediately.

Elizabeth did not loosen her bite, but he remained unfazed. Having worked in the cafe for a while, he had been bitten countless times before.

He had also developed an approach for handling such situations.

As long as the attacking cat did not mean to cause bodily harm, it was best not to move. Struggling would only worsen the damage done by their sharp teeth.

Baiquan knew that in this case, all he needed to do was to communicate with his eyes that the cat should let go.