I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

A white room!

\'I\'m back again?\'

"Yes, that\'s correct." The weird chuckling sound came from the corner of the room. The shadow was there but it was in some sort of prison made of white. 

At first, I thought he was just standing there, but when he touched the white bars and it contrasted with his darkness, only then did I see him being imprisoned. 

"You\'re trapped? And you can hear my thoughts." My voice echoed. This place was similar and yet, somehow this felt different. 

"Didn\'t I tell you? I\'m you." He grinned and I saw his white teeth.

\'Me?\'

I didn\'t see the girl here anymore and the place was totally white. No sign of that liquid darkness thing either. 

With a sigh, I lied down. Strangely the bed was rather comfortable. 

"You won\'t ask me any more questions?" The shadow almost sounded like it was disappointed and a little sad. 

"I do have one." I closed my eyes. "Why were you born?"

I had a lot of questions. I didn\'t know if these things were my other-selves or not but I didn\'t really know much about them. So I had to start from somewhere. 

He closed his eyes and for the first time, his grin disappeared completely. "If I were to ask you the same, would you be able to answer?" His question shut me up without a doubt. "I am you and you are me. But you refuse to acknowledge me. You refuse me." Was he sad? He glared straight at me, eyes glimmering with red. "I shall do the same to you."

Granted, that might not have been the best question for me to ask and probably not the best way to phrase it either. But how was I supposed to just accept some weird shadow inside me? Like, why?

The conversation derailed fast and before I knew it, I felt faint. My body felt hot?

"Go, live your life." The shadow turned and showed me his back. There were thousands of lash marks there: all red. "But when the time comes…. I will be free."

***

Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

The alarm just wouldn\'t shut up. \'So loud.\'

I knew it was six-thirty. But it did really have to scream so damn much? \'Why the hell didn\'t I turn the damn thing off last night?\'

Sniff!

My head throbbed a bit. My eyes were still closed.

I couldn\'t keep them open longer than a second. With loads of swaying I got up and sat down, my feet touching the cold floor: it almost felt like my feet would freeze. I couldn\'t even sit straight let alone get up. 

Maybe skipping both lunch and dinner yesterday wasn\'t a good idea. Well, I did have enough calories in the form of maple syrup, but I might have ruined my health a bit too much. 

I was about to yawn when all of a sudden… ACHOO!

Now that I noticed, my nose was running a bit too loose. 

"I caught a cold?" With the sneeze, I sobered up faster than what instant coffee could have achieved. There was no coffee in here though. Only tea. 

I had medicine so it wasn\'t a big deal unless I had some novel virus on me. 

But then again the nurse in this academy was a healer, so I didn\'t really have all that worries about a cold of all things. 

My body still swayed a little as I made my way to the kettle. Normally I always got fresh first before drinking anything in the morning. But I just didn\'t felt like moving today. Which was why I needed something to wake me up. 

The tea was done and I drank it without sugar. I needed all the bitterness I could get. Besides, I had my fill of sugar yesterday anyway.

It kind of worked. I felt better. But I still swayed. \'What is this?\'

"Hey, Merin?"

"MHmmm?" His eyes were closed and he was still kind of asleep. 

I was almost jealous of how nonchalant this guy was.

"Do you have any thermometers?"

Normally people never needed thermometers because their Holo could take temperature readings. But apparently, I didn\'t have one. 

"No. Nat might have one." He yawned in his sleep and went back to snoring mode. I really did envy him sometimes….

I groaned. It was odd. Since when did I even have a fever? With revolutionary vaccines and other drugs, fevers were rare. And not to mention, I didn\'t run around in the rain or anything either. 

Sniff!

I really wanted to crawl under a blanket right about now. But the day never stops, so I didn\'t have the luxury to do that. Besides, today was the due date for the assignment. And I certainly didn\'t want to end up with negative credits. Not getting credits was one thing but getting negative stuff? I didn\'t want that. 

My head felt funny but I didn\'t have a choice. Of course, I still had some chocolate milk leftover in the mini-fridge. SO I drank that and then took the medicine. Maybe it was placebo but I always felt a bit better the moment I took medicine. 

I didn\'t sway as much and I could think better. 

And then… GRUMBLE!

With a hand on my stomach, I ran to the bathroom. There were about a dozen or so in the dorms. And most of them weren\'t really occupied as students were barely waking up. 

I almost felt like passing out as I pushed. It did feel good though, afterward. I really hoped no one would have come near this place for the next three hours or so.

But my body still swayed. 

\'Maybe paying a visit to the nurse might be a good idea?\'

Walking was a drag but I still went out. Every step felt like eternity but I kept on walking. I didn\'t know how long it took for me to get out of the dorm but I was glad no one was around to see my pitiful state. I did want someone to help me though. Was I was being too hypocritical? Probably. 

\'Maybe waking up Merin might have been a good idea.\'  Why didn\'t I think of it before? Easy, I couldn\'t think straight. 

The sun was just up and the light almost blinded me. The early birds were out as usual. Meaning, if I could just ask someone, they\'d help me. But who? I didn\'t know anyone and people didn\'t know me: everyone just avoided me. 

The nurse\'s office was normally just about ten minutes of walking distance. But with my condition, and a lot of swaying it would have probably taken half an hour. If I didn\'t faint that is. 

Some of the passing students did look at me, debated internally whether to help me or not. In the end, no one really came to my rescue and I just strolled down the road. 

Of course, I was trying my best not to stand out, and walk normally so maybe that had more to do with no one coming to help. But perhaps I was just consoling myself and deceiving myself of the fact that no one was here for me: I was alone. 

I kept on walking. But my body had reached its limit. I was kind of swaying a lot more than before. 

And with another step, things started to look green and blurry: I guess this was a different type of passing out. The ground came nearer and nearer. I was about to fall. But just from a centimeter away from the ground, I floated. \'What?\'

Someone had caught me? But who? I looked around and there was no one. I was set up straight and that was all. I didn\'t notice a force on me or near me. Whoever used their powers on me, were gone and so were the traces of the power. 

Even with alpha particles, I felt nothing. But I did take a break by sitting down. I was sweating a lot more than necessary. But the dizziness passed away and I felt slightly better. But I was kind of stranded.

"Whoa, you okay?" Robert came jogging.

"Kind, off. Was it you?"

"Was it me, what?" He stopped by me and gave me a hand. He was covered in sweat. 

I stood up. "Yeah, never mind." If I wanted help, I guess I had to ask for it. "Can you take me to the nurse\'s office? I feel a bit faint."

"Yeah, your hand was pretty warm too." He grabbed my shoulder and we walked at a steady pace. He didn\'t even hesitate for a second. 

I didn\'t know the guy. We barely talked twice or maybe thrice. But he didn\'t hesitate to help me. 

"By the way, are we friends?" I didn\'t know what brought me to ask the question. I almost felt stupid for asking it. Was my fever too high or something?

"I don\'t know man. I barely know you. But if you want to be friends, sure." He didn\'t look at me, he didn\'t smile. He was just being sincere. 

A faint smile crept up on my face. "Thanks." I guess all I had to do was ask.

***

"You don\'t seem to have any novel viruses in you." The nurse gave me a status report. I felt relieved. "But-"

"But?"

"But your fever stems from something deep in you. It\'s early but let\'s do your weekly evaluation today."

"But I have classes." My world still spun around. The ceiling was moving back and forth. 

The nurse sighed. "Let\'s worry about your health more. First, how do you feel? I mean about losing control or perhaps when you\'re angry."

Robert had left for the jog right after getting me to the nurse\'s office. The nurse lied me down on the bed and ran some tests. 

"I feel the same as ever."

\'Should I tell her about the dreams and the seal?\'

No one really told me to be quiet about the seal and stuff. But I guessed it wasn\'t worth the extra effort in keeping it a secret. I had to know about my condition one way or another. Mom was keeping it a secret because this had something with my father, but I had to know. 

"I think I have a seal on me of some sort." Maybe I came out too blunt. 

"Yeah, I\'m aware." She didn\'t even bat an eye at me and just kept on reading through the reports. 

"Wait, what? You knew?"

She looked at me, a bit dumbfounded. "You do realize I\'ve run about a dozen tests on you already, right?" She sighed. "If it weren\'t for the headmaster, I\'ve started to dissect you already." She mumbled. I really didn\'t want to hear that though.

\'Better thank the geezer next time I guess.\'

I told her about the two dreams and the girl.  "Have any idea what\'s wrong with me?"

"We still didn\'t know what happened to you in the first place. But I\'m speculating your other personalities, if they exist at all, are sealed away. And now they\'re trying to get out. This, the lack of food and stress has caused your fever in this case. Just resting for a few days should be enough to cure you." She thought for another minute. "However, those dreams can also just be dreams caused by stress. So for the time being, don\'t worry too much."

\'Lack of food and stress, huh?\'

I was really glad a certain someone wasn\'t here to listen to that. If she was here, she\'d have dragged me back home and monitored my eating habits for the next few months. 

I wasn\'t worried about the dreams either though. They just felt too surreal. "But I\'ve to make it to today\'s practical."

She thought for a second. "Then how about you skip all the other classes and rest till your practical class? I\'ll ask one of the students to bring you some food. And since you\'ve already taken medicine there\'s not much left to do. I can always force the fever out, but that\'d cause you more harm than good." She went closer to the door. "I\'ll give you stomach medicine just in case though." I guess she heard my stomach rumble again.

"Alright."