The Silly Alchemist

“I want to go in, I need to put this pot of flowers in the palace garden,” said Ye Lang without reporting his identity. It was a tough job for the other person.

“Apologies, please show us your royal pass!” said the guard.

One must have a royal pass to deliver anything inside. These were usually palace staff who were out to buy stuff, not outsiders. Sometimes, there were special cases so they also had to display passes to enter.

“I don’t have a royal pass... Right, would this be okay?” Ye Lang remembered the order token given to him by the Vermilion Bird emperor. Not only could he mobilise military troops, he could also enter anywhere in the empire, including the palace.

Actually, even if he didn’t have the emperor’s token, he could also show Princess Longji’s jade token for the same effect. He also had the Coldblood Group’s token. However, he did not know if these would work and felt that something the emperor gave should work.

“Ah! Sir, welcome!” said the palace guard immediately. He had only heard of this token and seen a model of it but never a real one. It was a token with a lot of power, not belonging to any official within the palace. Forget about just entering the palace, there wouldn’t be a problem if he wanted to mobilise the palace guards.

That was also why this token rarely appeared. He didn’t expect this young man to have one. Looks like he couldn’t judge a book by its cover. Thank goodness the guard hadn’t offended him or he could literally die.

As for its legitimacy, the guard had a tool to check, hence he would not be wrong.

“Mm! Thank you for your trouble!”

Ye Lang thanked him politely after taking his token.

“No trouble at all, Sir! Have a good day!” said the palace guard with a bow.

“Mm!”

Ye Lang nodded and strode into the palace. He looked for the palace gardens based on his memory. After meeting a few guards on patrol, he decided to hang the token on his hip so he’d point to it whenever asked.

After seeing the token, the guards all bowed and went ahead with their work.

Ye Lang had circled the entire compound, threaded through multiple buildings but did not see the gardens. Impatient, he wanted to get someone to bring him.

Before he went looking, someone found him.

“You, stay where you are! Who are you? Why are you walking randomly alone?”

An arrogant aristocratic lady in her forties appeared. She was pretty with an air of aristocracy, clad in expensive clothing. It was normal, everyone in the palace looked expensive.

There were a boy and a girl next to her. The boy was in his early twenties, handsome but had the same arrogance as the lady, giving off an unsettling aura.

The girl was about eighteen, her eyes similar to the lady’s. Perhaps the lady’s daughter.

“I’m here to deliver a flower but I can’t find the palace gardens. Do you know where the gardens are, Ma’am?” Ye Lang ignored her arrogance but asked her a polite question.

“Flower? What’s wrong with the palace, why would they let a flower delivery guy walk around alone like that? And they didn’t send anyone with him!” The lady looked at him with contempt. An aristocratic lady like her had no time for a mere flower delivery boy.

“...” Ye Lang looked at her and then turned to leave. He felt like she was very rude, he’d just asked her a question and she did not answer it.

Most importantly, Ye Lang saw through her contempt and was too lazy to argue.

“Imbecile! I did not say you could excuse yourself!” The lady was furious at his attitude, thinking Ye Lang was disrespecting her.

At this point, Ye Lang was completely ignoring her, looking around and trying to recall the garden’s location.

“Woah! I will not tolerate any disrespect from a person like you!” said the lady.

“Flower delivery boy, kneel down and apologise to my mother this instant and we will forgive you for your lack of manners!” came the arrogant boy’s voice.

“Lack of manners? You think you’re more polite than I am?” asked Ye Lang nonchalantly.

“What did you say?!” asked the lady loudly, her voice raising an octave.

“I’m sure I said it very clearly. I’m saying that you all are rude. You’re stupid if you didn’t even get that.” Ye Lang shook his head and continued walking.

“You! Tell me, how were we rude?!” The arrogant boy suddenly came in front of Ye Lang in a flash, looking at him in contempt.

“Do I really have to explain? First, I called you Ma’am but you called me ‘you’, isn’t that rude?” said Ye Lang seriously, as if he really was going to explain himself.

“Hmmph, you’re just a flower delivery boy, how dare you tell me what to call you!” said the lady.

“Second, I asked you for directions. It’s fine if you didn’t want to answer me but why do you have to look at me with contempt? That’s very rude,” said Ye Lang.

“You think you’re very important? Me looking at you is already enough!”

“Also, you said I was rude but I don’t think I was. I’m minding my own business here, I don’t need your permission.” Ye Lang ignored her, merely saying what he wanted to say.

“In this place, you need my permission. You’re just a flower delivery boy, you don’t have the right to walk wherever you want.” The lady had her nose in the air so he could clearly see her nostrils.

“Why? It’s not your home, I can walk wherever I want!” said Ye Lang. “Also, Ma’am, your nostrils are ugly, don’t look at me like that.”

“...” The lady was stunned. Embarrassed, she whined, “This IS my home!”

“Oh, you’re the emperor’s wife?” said Ye Lang.

Emperor’s wife? Such a crude term, he must’ve lived a very close-minded life.

“I’m not!”

“Daughter? Impossible, you’re so old you could be his aunt.”

“...How dare you say I’m old!”