Novel Bin Vol. 1 - Ch. 70 - A Terrifying Letter
I was just about to return to my room after having the usual crappy breakfast when Sora, the dorm mother, passed me a cursed letter— the usual three sheets of paper folded into a cute floral patterned envelope.
Indeed, it was from my elder sister. I didn\'t even need to guess what she had written.
The first page started on a merry note, mentioning my exploits — I didn\'t even know why she was gathering all of that — like my connections in the school, my club activities, my assignment from Godorfun, my provisional knightship, and even my explorer work. It ended with a \'Just as expected from Allen-kun.\'
The second page was basically a bit about her and the things she wanted to do with me, beginning with her noting the new research she was pouring her effort on— a magical device to have a conversation with me when we were apart, the so-called phone from Earth. Then she kicked off by boasting about me to her research academy friends, how she wanted me to meet them, and the place she wanted to go with me like a restaurant or a tailor shop in the Royal Capital, and so on.
By this point, I had already picked up her bad mood from in-between her words. And finally— the cursed third page.
‘I know it\'s a busy time for you, but it has been a really long time since we last saw each other and if you don\'t come out to see me today, I will have to breach through the security of the Academy and sneak into the dormitory. That cursed security of the Royal Academy! They easily found my monitoring magical tool that recorded the morning club activities of the Hill Road Club and didn\'t even give it a second thought before destroying it. I almost wanted to raze the school to the ground.’
The whole third page was like a curse chant with some of the words being dragged out and written in a heavy-handed manner. I didn\'t want to imagine how many times she must have broken the lead tip in frustration.
If there was anything I knew about my elder sister, it was that the more I stalled it for later, the more it would fan her temper, and when she exploded for real, there would be nothing left for me to take cover in. Still, against my better judgment, I decided to turn a blind eye to it. Soon, it had been four months since my enrollment.
The letters continued to arrive to this date, and I had made sure to seal all of them in the dark region of my desk without opening them. Today was no different, or it should have been but I was foiled by Al, who had been eating on the same table.
"There sure is no end to these cute letters of yours, huh, Allen? Hey, is it possibly from your hometown lover?"
These words instantly caused a sparkle to flash in one of the girl\'s eyes. Giving off a class-president vibe by appearance but was actually just a young woman with a lot of superficial knowledge about sex— Kate.
"A long-distance relationship between the 3rd son of a destitute viscount and a childhood friend from the sticks!? On one side, there\'s this naive town girl, harboring even now an ember of feeling for the childhood friend who, after enrolling into the Royal Academy, is almost like a denizen of a different world! On the other hand, the scum who used to be a rustic boy but had been dyed in the color of the Royal Capital, mercilessly trampled on these feelings, ensnaring girls left and right! But in the end, tired from all the womanizing, the scum actually chose the childhood friend who had always been by his side, like heaven even for a sinner like him...... No way, the unseen dark horse! You sure managed to hide this dark horse well!"
And not betraying my notion of her, Kate prattled off with a flushed face. Sheesh, she was just like those gossipy aunties commonplace in my previous world.
"And what I am hearing now, Allen? Pray tell me, what\'s the origin of this dear dark horse of yours? Here I thought you were just a late-bloomer when it comes to girls, but I never expected you to be so secretive..."
"So Allen-san likes simple-minded girls..."
Lo and behold, the chatter had already attracted the two flies.
"Seriously… Who\'re you calling scum… This is just a well wishes letter from a family member— my elder sister. I haven\'t visited her ever since school started because of my busy schedule."
"Huh, so this adorable-looking letter is actually from that \'Tempest Rose\'? Still, isn\'t it a bit weird for siblings to send letters this frequently... Ah, right. Just when are you going to introduce me to your sister? You really are slippery like an eel whenever it comes to this topic. What happened to our promise from back then on the magic train before the entrance exam?”
Oh right. She did ask me, huh? It completely slipped my mind. Nope, never. It would be a disaster for sure. She was one of those insensitive types who wouldn\'t even bat an eye on hurling jokes — funny no one except her — like \'We\'re more than lovers, less than a couple.\' I don\'t even know what kind of Pandora’s box she might open.
I bet I would be reading — yes, not just hearing from the rumors — that ‘my biological sister started a bloodshed against someone of the Marquis Dragoon family, beating even her little brother black and blue, who couldn\'t stop her despite being a member of the knight order as an apprentice\' headlining in tomorrow\'s newspaper. Maybe, the kingdom might even have one less viscount family in their survey the next day.
I was about to give one of my usual dodgy answers when Al butted in excitedly.
"Woah! So it\'s from your big sister, that renowned Artificer!? I really want to meet her. Hey, Allen, aren\'t you free from knight training today? Let\'s set off now! I also want to hear what you were like when you were a child!"
This guy couldn\'t be for real... Did he really forget about the red-carpet incident that involved Marquis Endumion? And today?
"......Then I will as well. It\'s one of my duties to deepen ties with someone as young and talented as your sister. I’m also a bit curious about the Roveene house’s secret as well."
"Count me in as well! You have been such a big help, Allen-san, so greetings are a must!"
Hey, hey, this isn\'t the time to ride the flow!? And what\'s with these people, acting as if we\'re definitely going?
"Hold on, time out for goddamn sake. I’m not going back, or introducing anyone. Look, I am so busy every day, and I bet Jeu and Fey must have their family matters to handle as well, right? Besides, I’m dead sure my sister is busy as hell! Ack, excuse me guys, my chronic pollakiuria is flaring up again."
I hurriedly pushed through the talk and jumped out of my seat to return to my room when my hand was grabbed by a certain person with a gorilla-like grip.
"Why are you running away? If you ask me, your big sister must be waiting for you to show your face at least once. Isn\'t that why you have so many letters? My family would have made me write back, even going as far as to dispatch the army if I hadn\'t shown my face after blowing all the records away and becoming the hot topic of the capital. Alright, now open the letter here."
Fey said while grinning.
"Why must I open my letter here!? And parents are one thing, I don\'t need to report everything to my sister. Just for your information, we\'re just a run-of-the-mill destitute viscounty with one foot away from becoming a commoner, not some hot stuff like you Marquises! Now let go of my hand!"
I tried to shake off her hand, but she instead gripped it even more tightly.
"Gah!"
The letter slipped out of my hand which was picked up by her very calmly.
“I have secured the evidence. Judge, if you may, how do you think we should interpret Allen\'s statement?”
Kate pushed up her glasses and said,
“The defendant’s behavior is suspicious. He could have suggested, like, another date if it\'s impossible today due to his hectic schedule. From his panic, I conclude that the sender is most likely to be the bakery shop’s girl from his hometown. I suggest proceeding with opening the evidence.”
“What kind of tomfoolery is this in the name of a judge!? Anyway, there\'s no postmark, so of course it\'s directly delivered to the guard. And there\'s just my elder sister in this capital! Now enough with your delusions!”
“......This is an abnormal situation. This intense opposition to monopolize one\'s sister— I fear this is hinting at the defendant\'s severe sis-con sickness, the forbidden love.
Ahem, there\'s no need to reveal the whole letter, but would it not be sufficient to clear up the situation by opening the letter and summarizing it in a few words? But to obstinately refusing to open it and even opposing something as trivial as a greeting, surely there would be some compelling reason, right?”
“See, we\'re not asking you to read the letter right here. If you also don\'t have anything to be guilty of, it shouldn\'t be a problem to just skim through the letter, right? Well, this is just my suggestion. It\'s also for your sake, you wouldn\'t want something like ‘sis-con’ in the urban legends of yours, right?”
“Please look in the mirror and see with which face you\'re lecturing me about rumors. I bet you must be the number one preparator for most of that nonsense!
…I understand! I’ll open it so don’t spread it around just because it sounds amusing.”
Sigh, really. I did it… I mean it was for their own sake that I didn’t introduce them to her…
Alright, I’ll open this one, and if it sounds alright, then the second page, and somehow show them she was just as busy, which will hopefully get them to give up.
Thinking so naively, I cut open the seal of the letter.
Except, I had yet to know that the anger value of my sister had reached an unimaginable height.
E/N - Dang, MC’s sister is even scarier than I remember. That’s borderline yandere. Also, had to google what pollakiuria meant. Learned a new word today
T/N - Ah, that was a medical word or so according to google-sensei. It is the same excuse he gave to Fey in starting back on the magic train (I had put it as chronic urination). And on another note, yup, I expected her to be Yandere.