Winter Swan

Chapter 46:

When Silje said the long-awaited word, Kail didn’t react. Instead, he asked blankly, “Why did you decide to stop now?”

He looked interested, but it seemed like he wasn’t swayed by her answer.

“So it’s because of him, right?”

Kail pointed at Jamal who was lying on the floor unconscious.

“You are giving up because of him? If it was just you, you would’ve lasted forever. You would’ve endured whatever I did to you till the end, right?”

“What does it matter? I gave you what you wanted, so let him go. Keep your word. You need to keep your side of the bargain, since I said the word.”

Silje submitted to him. Kail got what he wanted, but he didn’t look happy.

“You were doing so well, yet you couldn’t win over your petty emotions? You couldn’t ignore your sympathy for his boy?”

“What is it that you want to hear from me? You got what you wanted, so let us go.”

“What I want?”

Kail looked at her with forceful intensity. His green eyes looked like a beautiful aurora in the cold night sky.

“What I want is your honest answer. That’s all.”

“Then I will give it to you. I have reached my limit. To escape you, I feel like I am ready and willing to do anything. And that is why I said the word. No big epiphany. No deep meaningful reason. So don’t think too much about it. I just couldn’t bear to see Jamal in pain anymore, and that is why said I surrendered. You’re right that I don’t truly mean it, but what does it matter? What is the point of me explaining this and giving you useless excuses? Let’s just stop. Just let Jamal go. I don’t care what happens to me.”

Anger burned her heart like a wildfire.

“Let him go right now. Don’t you think you’ve done enough? He is innocent.”

“Do you think you and that boy are alike? You have been the only Asian in this school, and now that there is another one, you feel empathy towards him?”

His voice was so cold like the blizzard.

“Does he remind you of yourself in the past? Is that why you said you surrendered to me?”

“Yes, because Jamal is innocent! If it was just me you tortured, you would’ve never gotten me to say the word. So let him go. What more do you want to hear from me? What are you trying to make me say?”

“You want to save him? Do you somehow think that if you save that boy, what you endured in this school will be meaningful?”

Silje replied angrily, but Kail wasn’t done with her. He kept pushing her.

Silje asked, “What if I do think that?”

She glared at him rebelliously while biting her lips hard.

Nothing changed. This man pushed her beyond her limit and more. In truth, he didn’t want her to beg or submit to him. He wanted her to continue to fight him straight on.

“Fine. I will answer you. If you insist, I will give it to you. There was only one thought in my mind... Jamal’s pained eyes looked just like mine. It was unbearable to see his eyes filled with hopelessness about his life in school, because they reminded me of my own miserable life. And so I wanted to free him. I felt like I could do anything to save him. Whatever it takes.”

She was in an embarrassing and mortifying situation, yet she showed no shame or tears. Speaking with clear insolence, she looked straight into his eyes.

Yet, Kail could see the deep sorrow in her from all the things she had to go through. He didn’t say anything and Silje bit her lips again.

After a short silence, Silje said to him, “That’s all, so keep your promise.”

Another silence.

Then suddenly, Kail turned towards Jamal and cut the rope with his knife.

“Now, get out.”

Jamal, who was shaking uncontrollably, was finally free. He looked at Silje fearfully before running out of the storage building.

Slam!

The door slammed shut behind him and it was just Silje and Kail alone again in the room.

With his arms crossed, Kail glowered at Silje. She shared with him a small but genuine piece of her pain. Yet, even while giving away her darkest moment, Silje never lost her poise and Kail couldn’t stop looking at her.

With an odd smile, he took out a silver knife.

“You want to be free, right? Then cut my wrist with this knife. When you do it, you will be freed from me.”

Silje stared at him in shock and disbelief.

She couldn’t understand why Kail was saying this to her.

Was he truly mad? As if he read her mind, Kail smiled faintly and explained, “I haven’t gone crazy, I swear. This is how it’s going to work. I have left a permanent scar on your wrist and that is how it all started. So let’s break the chain and go back to the beginning. Return to the time before all this started. Erase what happened.”

Kail stared at her uncertain eyes and made her hold his knife.

“Now, cut my wrist with this. Leave me a scar of my own and with that, you will be able to erase me from your life. You can go back to the way it was, before you met me.”

“No! Kail, don’t do this. I don’t want to do this.”

Silje shook her head adamantly and tried to refuse, but Kail wouldn’t take no for an answer.

He continued to look at her with his stunning green eyes and held her hand. He then grabbed her hair gently and kissed it.

But suddenly, he pushed her head with his large hand.

“Gyaa!’

At the sudden painful pressure, Silje screamed. Kail ignored her and continued to push harder.

Silje thrashed in pain. The pressure of it was so severe that she was worried that her head might crack.

“Stop! Let me go! Stop this!”

She tried to endure it, but the fear she felt was real as she looked at the intimidating figure who was hurting her.

“Are you afraid? You should be, because if I continue this, you might die. If you want to live, you need to leave a mark on my wrist. Here.”

Kail bared his wrist for her and Silje suddenly stopped moving to stare at it. Pale skin with blue veins. When she seemed mesmerized by it, Kail smiled faintly.

“Now, hurry up. There is nothing to fear, Silje. Hold this knife.”

He whispered to her, “Let’s end this now. You want me gone, right? Let’s go back to the beginning before we met. We can turn back time.”

“No, Kail! I don’t want to do this!”

Her eyes reddened. Silje was still hanging upside down and with fear, anxiety, and pain, she finally gave in and started to cry.

Kail caressed her hair gently and insisted, “Silje, now.”

When she still looked at him with hesitation, Kail frowned and pushed her head again. Silje screamed.

“Gyaa!”

The pain was too intense.

“Ahhh! Stop it! Don’t!”

Silje finally exploded with anger. She shook her head free somehow from his grasp and screamed, “I said I don’t want to! I told you! You never listen to me. You always do whatever you want! Are you happy now? You’ve put me in this position, so does this make you satisfied? You are hurting me! Is this really what you want?”

She was so angry that she started to swing her hand around, still holding Kail’s knife. With a smile, Kail raised his wrist towards her.

Slash!

Silje suddenly stopped breathing. The knife in her hand grazed Kail’s wrist. When Silje gasped in shock, Kail whispered to her, “No, this isn’t enough. Harder. You need to put more force in your hand. The knife barely scratched my skin.”