Chapter 78 - Star - A Waking Nightmare Part 1
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Star
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I woke to the feeling of someone moving me around. I kept my eyes closed, just knowing that I wouldn\'t like what I saw when I opened them. But I could feel someone moving my body and what felt like water. Was someone washing me?
I cracked my eyes open and saw that Uncle Howard was there in the room with me again and he had a washcloth in his hands. He was dipping that washcloth into water and then cleaning away the blood and dirt from my body.
I looked around my surroundings, at the room, the bed, and myself. What made this whole situation worse was that I was laying on the bed with only my bra and panties on. The rest of my clothes had been stripped away from me.
I started to panic. I wanted to flip out and scream and yell. I wanted to get away from Uncle Howard as quickly as I could.
The moment I moved my arm and tensed my body to prepare to stand Uncle Howard turned his head to look at me with a broad grin.
"Astraia." He called my name when he made eye contact. That was the moment that I felt like I lost control of my entire body.
I had felt that power before. I had felt like I couldn\'t control myself at all and I was mostly just watching the things around me happen.
"Astraia, you are not yet cleaned." Uncle Howard seemed to purr as he spoke to me. "You need to be patient, we can put your dress on after." Uncle Howard gestured then to the dress that was hanging at the foot of the bed.
The dress was pretty, in a sense. It was white and it looked like it was a little old fashioned. There was no doubting it though, this was what Howard was going to consider my wedding dress. I wanted to move, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away. But I couldn\'t make myself do it at all.
"Don\'t you want to marry me tonight, Astraia?" His voice sent goosebumps all over my body and made me feel like I had bugs crawling along my skin, but still I seemed to not have the ability to say what I wanted.
"Of course I do Uncle Howard." I felt my face smile, I was compelled to do it but I was sickened by it all.
"Now, now Astraia, you know that I am not really your uncle right? I was just someone that joined your family a long time ago. You know that, don\'t you?"
"Yes, Howard, I know. You\'re not my uncle, you are my fiance." Why was I saying this? What was with this?
This all seemed like those times with Artem when my body was compelled to follow what was going on. I may have thought things were moving too fast, but I felt like I loved Artem. This though, this was making me sick. This was making me wish that I was dead rather than saying any of these things to him.
When I was with Artem, even when I had no control I never hated a moment of it. Even when we slept together I didn\'t hate it. I loved being with him. It was just that not being in control scared me. I couldn\'t tell him that I wanted to go slower. I couldn\'t tell him that I wanted to wait. But I was never going to tell him that I never wanted it. I loved him.
But now, even without the control of my body I still hated Uncle Howard. I didn\'t want him to touch me. I didn\'t even want him to look at me. I just wanted to get away from him and go back home.
I wanted to go back to Artem\'s place to see him and Chay again. I wanted to see Reed and Bailey, Kent and Ella, Toby and Morgan, and the triplets Criztie, Sydney, and Dakotah. I wanted to see the boys that had talismans like mine. I wanted to see my real family, the people who cared about me.
Whatever was going on with me, whatever was causing this, it didn\'t change how I felt at all. This thing that was happening to me only affected my actions. I know what it was that I wanted. I know who it is that I love. But if I was going to be stuck with Uncle Howard for the rest of my life then I would rather die.
Does suicide count as running away from him?
"Astraia, you have such beautiful skin. I just want to stroke it and feel the tender suppleness of it under my finger tips." Uncle Howard smiled at me as he moved the washcloth along my legs. "I cannot wait until you are dressed, then we shall be married. Aren\'t you excited?"
"Yes, Howard." I heard myself answer in a monotonous voice. I didn\'t sound like myself at all. I don\'t remember sounding like that with Artem. Maybe if I tried hard enough I could force myself to stop all of this shit from happening.
For the next several minutes I tried my best to make my body move or to say what I really thought, but I couldn\'t. While I fought feverishly for control of my own body Uncle Howard had finished washing me up.
I noticed as he cleaned me that all of my injuries seemed to be gone. I could breathe normally. I didn\'t feel the ache in my leg. My head felt fine.
When Uncle Howard lifted me with his hands my back to slide the dress onto my limp body I saw that all the cuts and bruises were also gone. I was completely healed. I have no idea how he managed to do that, but somehow he had. I didn\'t care, I just wanted to get away, healed or not.
Uncle Howard seemed to move gently and slowly as he slid the dress over my head and down my body. I felt him graze his fingers across my breasts, then my belly, and finally my thighs as he helped to dress me. I wanted to scream but I couldn\'t. In the absence of the scream I wanted to cry, to sob, but I couldn\'t even do that.
\'Get up! Run away! Get away from him! Leave this place!\' No matter how many times these thoughts ran through my head I couldn\'t do anything but lay there until I was compelled to move for Uncle Howard.
\'Scream! Cry! Sob! Let him know that you don\'t want this.\'
Try as hard as I could, I was stuck and I knew it.
\'Artem, I love you.\' I said the words in my head, now thankful for all the years I had spent only talking inside my head. At least I was prepared for this kind of life.