Death, Devotion, Dissonance

After the Chairman\'s class finished, Evin went to Bella\'s room with her. They decided it was too late to cook and decided to stop by the cafeteria to bring some food home. 

"But are you sure you don\'t service the Chairman?" Bella said teasingly. "Perhaps in his room at nights?"

"Ugh, I told you I don\'t. I\'m just as confused as you are."

"He\'s playing favorites and he isn\'t even bothering to hide it, you know? There\'s definitely something."

Evin considered telling her about the Chairman, since she knew about Endra, but Evin felt like she wouldn\'t be able to keep the secret for too long. He felt a bit guilty, thinking that he wasn\'t trusting his girlfriend, but he didn\'t want extra things to worry about. But that didn\'t mean he couldn\'t say anything.

"I wish I knew why he\'s doing that too," Evin shrugged. "It\'s almost like he\'s just trying to piss off everyone in the class. Don\'t know why he would do that in the first place, but he\'s giving me that kind of vibe. Maybe he\'s just taking his day out on me?"

"That\'s a weird way to vent…" Bella cocked her head, her fingers on her lips. "But now that you say it, it does feel like that. Everyone else wouldn\'t feel happy hearing you get praised like that, and you wouldn\'t feel so happy about it either, considering your personality. The Chairman should realize that soon enough, considering how smart he is."

Evin grunted in an agreeable tone, as he unwrapped their food. 

They ate while chatting, mostly about random topics and perhaps some childhood memories here and there. They almost never talked about each other\'s days, as they both had almost the same exact routine. 

After they were finished, Evin got up to do the dishes. They didn\'t have to clean them, since they came from the cafeteria, but Evin felt bad for the kitchen staff who had to clean dishes that stayed dirty for a whole day. And Evin was always quick to wash them, since he knew how horrible it was to rub off hardened oil with a cold, wet cloth.

\'This is making me weirdly nostalgic about cleaning father\'s oil tanks…"

As Evin was thinking about random things, Bella approached him from behind and spoke.

"Sooo, you\'re going to Jiha town tomorrow?"

Evin\'s calm state of mind immediately went to full alert as he expected Bella\'s usual attempts to dissuade him from meeting his mother\'s family.

"Yeah," he replied, making sure to be mindful of his tone of voice. He learned that he couldn\'t sound annoyed or defensive during these conversations, or else it would very quickly lead to an argument. 

"To see your mother again?" 

"Well, I did promise her that I\'ll visit her daily, so… And besides, it\'s not like I don\'t like doing it. I\'ve been spending quite some time with her family and it… it\'s definitely fun. Sasha\'s quite cute too."

Evin felt like he was trying to navigate his way out of a thorny bush while naked. 

"Uh, do you have to go there tomorrow?" Bella asked. "I was just talking to one of my friends and she told me there was this really nice steak place and I was thinking we could go check it out, you know?"

\'What friend?!\' Evin almost blurted out. Evin never saw Bella talking to any other girl or woman in the Academy. Not even in Ankelite city.

"Maybe we can check them out tomorrow evening? Or maybe the day after?" Evin offered.

Bella looked noticeably sadder, but she didn\'t feel like she wanted to argue. Evin felt a bit happy, since that meant that she was kind of accepting that he couldn\'t spend every moment with her. Probably.

Evin felt oddly proud of her so he just walked up and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Bella snuggled her head into Evin\'s chest and wrapped her hand around him. A warm feeling went through Evin\'s chest. 

Bella really wasn\'t that bad as long as she wasn\'t acting unnecessarily jealous sometimes… Evin really didn\'t know why she turned out so possessive like that. 

"I\'ll let you do it with me if you stay tomorrow…" Bella spoke.

"What?"

"I said…" Bella said and looked at Evin straight in the eye. "I\'ll have sex with you if you stay tomorrow."

Her expression and the way she said it made it clear enough that she was serious. Evin couldn\'t even joke his way out of this situation. All the fuzzy thoughts Evin was having before dissipated into nothingness at her sudden declaration. Or rather, an ultimatum, considering how Bella said it. 

Two different sides appeared in Evin\'s head: one expectant and the other offended.

The expectant side was, of course, overjoyed to hear Bella\'s ultimatum. Finally, they get to do it! Of course, Evin tried to go further with their relationship. He was a boy, after all. So now that she was offering it herself, why wouldn\'t he be happy? Visiting Lora? Why should Evin care about that?

The offended side, though, felt mad at hearing something like that from Bella. Was she going to use the same thing against Evin every time she wanted something? And why was she acting like this in the first place? It wasn\'t like Evin was going to live with his mother? He was going to be gone for a fucking day!

Evin looked at Bella, who was looking at him levelly, with no sign of betraying her true intentions. Whatever they may be. Bracing himself for an argument, Evin just said what he was feeling.

"I\'m still going away for tomorrow… And, uh… I\'d appreciate it if you don\'t… I don\'t know, do things like this."

Evin gently pushed her away and headed towards the door. It was time for him to leave anyway. He felt that this was the right move. 

He also felt that he was the right one in this situation. In fact, he even felt that it was okay for him to be a bit angrier and Evin should be praised for keeping his calm.

\'Though, I really can\'t tell if being right means shit.\'

"Are you just going to leave?" Bella suddenly spoke. "After saying that?"

Evin turned around, to see her wearing a rather dangerous-looking frown, with pursed lips and eyes that looked both miserable and mad. 

"I really don\'t know what else I\'m supposed to say there," Evin replied, failing to hide his annoyance. 

"What do you mean you don\'t know?" Bella\'s voice was becoming louder.

Evin knew that an argument was coming but he didn\'t care. 

"Exactly what I mean. What am I supposed to say when you\'re practically telling me to choose between you and my mother?" 

"I didn\'t do that!"

"Okay, what was that, then? You\'re going to let me fuck you only if I\'m not meeting my mother? What about other days? Why can\'t we have sex when we\'re both feeling happy, huh? Why do we have to do it when I\'m feeling guilty about being unable to meet my mother?"

Bella\'s eyes were had a hint of sadness in it before, but now it was just angry.

"It\'s always the same with you! You\'re always going on and on about your mother, and the other times, you try to put your hands between my thighs! And when I finally… Ugh!"

"I don\'t always do that! And even if I did, is it something so wrong? I was just reunited with my mother, who was missing from my life almost entirely! Is it so wrong for me to want to be with her and help her?" Evin was starting to shout.

Bella went silent at that. Evin felt triumphant at that and although he knew he shouldn\'t, he continued. 

"And what\'s so wrong about me wanting to have sex with you? I\'m a boy! That\'s dating you! I can\'t help feeling horny sometimes! And why are you so against it in the first place?"

"Why wouldn\'t I be?!" Bella shouted back. "First of all, it\'s not so easy for me to just have sex! My… genital doesn\'t function like yours, which just gets hard and just… gets ready for whatever!"

Evin was about to reply, but hearing something he didn\'t understand, he inevitably slowed down.

"What do you mean?" Evin asked, his voice becoming slightly softer due to his confusion.

"You don\'t know?" Bella replied back. 

"Don\'t know what?"

Bella\'s red cheeks turned even redder as she looked back at Evin. "Are you messing with me?"

"What are you talking about?" Evin was genuinely confused. 

Bella looked like she was struggling to word something, but was failing. "Why are you making me talk about this in the first place? Go read a book on it or something!" She suddenly got angry, though Evin could tell that she was the good kind of mad. "Go away! Weren\'t you leaving anyway?"

Bella pushed Evin out and he suddenly found himself in the dorm room\'s corridors, not sure what exactly happened. 

\'What the fuck?\'

Feeling out of place, Evin slowly made his way back to his room. Arza was out, like always, so Evin immediately jumped onto his bed.

<Uh, hello?>

He received no answer, so Evin asked \'harder\'. 

<What?> Endra came eventually. 

<Did you hear what happened?>

<Hmm?> 

Endra made a point not to interfere with Evin\'s relationship, saying that he could ignore whatever was happening outside if he wanted to. Evin was glad that Endra was so considerate, but sometimes he wished that the resident in his head would help out.

<My talk with Bella.>

<No. Did she not want you to visit your mom again?> 

Evin sighed and began explaining the situation. Then, he got to the point where Bella shoved her out of the room, and Endra began laughing. 

<Wait, how do you even know about sex, again? You don\'t have any friends to be horny teenagers with, do you?> Endra asked after he was finished giggling. <Oh, wait, wait. I remember. Your father and those whores he brought home sometimes.> 

Evin was reminded of those shameful nights where he had to pretend he was sleeping, but couldn\'t quite sleep because of what he was hearing in the next room. And it wasn\'t so hard to peep in to see what was happening too. 

<Alright, I guess you wouldn\'t know much about these things considering your situation. Sex education would probably only get invented in the next century or something… It\'s too late to hope you\'ll learn these things naturally… Ah, whatever.>

Saying so, Endra held his rather extensive class on sex education.

*****