I’m Really a Superstar

Zhang Ye finished “praying” to the ceiling.

With laughter came applause!

This joke segment of Zhang Ye came too timely. He did it less than a second after the loud crash had happened. It was unlike the usual when a host would give some formal explanation when a live broadcast incident occurred. It brought out his witty side by converting the incident into a joke segment. This tickled everyone. If it wasn’t for the fact that the live audience could see that there was a lighting rack that lay on the ground all smashed up, they might even have thought that this was a pre-planned situation for Zhang Ye to do the joke!

What a clever move!

It was as well done as how he handled the matter with the black guy!

……

On the web.

Those who were waiting for Zhang Ye to make a fool of himself were stunned.

“What the heck!”

“He can even follow up on that?”

“There’s such a way to save the situation?”

Those Hallyu fans who had cursed Zhang Ye were at a loss of words.

With their imposing momentum lowered, Zhang Ye’s fans and the ultra-nationalists struck while the iron was hot and began cursing!

“Haha! A bunch of brainless idiots!”

“Still want to see Teacher Zhang make a fool of himself? All of you are sure funny! You guys sure are humorous!”

“What sort of person is Zhang Ye!? Zhang Ye has done so many programs! Does he not have the ability to adapt!? Or would the WebTV dare to let Teacher Zhang Ye do a live broadcast!?”

“You are underestimating Teacher Zhang Ye!”

“Teacher Zhang is domineering! That was a perfect rescue of the situation!”

“Aiyah, I can’t handle it anymore. Teacher Zhang’s ‘We will leave once we finish recording’ has stabbed me in the ribs! Hahahaha! I only knew Zhang Ye as a person last week! But why am I so in love with him now? Now no matter what Zhang Ye says, I just want to laugh the moment he opens his mouth! Are you guys in the same situation as me?”

“Me too. I feel like laughing the moment I see Zhang Ye!”

Many people from other online television stations, who were watching the live broadcast online, gave him a thumbs up in their hearts upon seeing Zhang Ye’s performance!

……

At the studio.

Wang Xiong was simply astounded!

Colleagues of Zhang Ye and the production team for “Zhang Ye’s Talk Show could not hold back their feelings and also applauded. Zhang Ye’s rescue of the situation had turned a broadcast incident into a joke segment. Even for them professionals or WebTV hosts, they felt that they could not do the same under such an environment and pressure!

Feng Guiqin smiled with relief. She looked to Wang Xiong who was by her side, “I told you Little Zhang could do it!”

Wang Xiong never agreed with doing the live broadcast before this, now he was finally assured, “This Teacher Little Zhang, his reaction is too quick! Haha!”

An old man, who was a company leader, was standing beside them as he said in surprise, “When did our WebTV department recruit such a talent?”

Feng Guiqin smiled. “We just recruited him a short while ago, you were away on a business trip at that time.”

The old man tapped his head continuously saying, “This recruitment was very well done. To have such a good reaction speed and resilience, he’s a really talented host. There’s not many of them in the country, even if there is, they are all working for those traditional television stations. Those people have very well drawn contracts to prevent headhunters from getting to them. How much did our company pay to recruit this Little Zhang? 500,000? 1,000,000?”

Feng Guiqin laughed, “Not a single cent, this Little Zhang was fired by Beijing Television Station. He was a free agent with no contractual obligations.”

The old man was very happy, “There’s even such a good deal? Is Beijing Television Station stupid? Such a good host and they were willing to release him?”

“The internal happenings were more complicated, I do not know the details very well myself,” Feng Guiqin said, “But what I can say for sure is that we picked up a bargain.” Actually before recruiting Zhang Ye, the company’s management had already considered and analyzed the issue. They felt that Zhang Ye was a double-edged sword, he could hurt others and hurt them too. They were taking a bet on him. Looking back now, they felt that they had made the right bet!

……

On-stage.

A few close shaves had been handled well by Zhang Ye. He also had his back full of sweat over the incidents, but only he knew about it. He could react so quickly this time because back then on “Tonight 80’s Talkshow”, a similar situation occurred, though it was a backstage incident that happened. Even if Zhang Ye did not eat the Memory Search Capsule, he would definitely remember that episode, so he borrowed the host, Wang Zijian’s words!

Whew.

Finally, he could start the live broadcast.

Zhang Ye smiled. “Thank you very much for watching today’s ‘Zhang Ye’s Talk Show’. I am your host, Zhang Ye. Many people must have heard about today’s program. Yes, this episode is a live broadcast. So despite being such an excellent host in this industry, I also can’t help but feel nervous!” As he said that, he adjusted his tie.

“Yi!”

“Yi!”

The audience began to boo!

Zhang Ye pretended not to hear it and carried on speaking in his jolly manner, “After the first episode’s broadcast, the response from the audience was very good. The program’s clicks steadily climbed. There were people who praised my program and there were also people who cursed my program. Someone said, Zhang Ye you are lying. You are cheating us consumers. How can you go off-script for such a long program? Impossible, absolutely impossible!”

Here it comes!

He went straight to the point!

The eyes of the audience lit up. Everyone knew the person who doubted Zhang Ye. It was Lee Parkwoo and his brainless fans!

Zhang Ye suddenly said to the camera, “What I want to say is that you guys guessed right!”

“Ah?”

“What did that mean?”

“He really isn’t doing it off-script?”

“That’s not right. I don’t see any teleprompter?”

Zhang Ye said to the camera as he pointed to an empty space before him. He began gesturing a podium-like shape, “Those watching the internet live broadcast might not understand. Actually all the live audience present can see it clearly. In front of me, yes, which is this podium. On it are all the scripts for this episode. Some netizens who are watching the live broadcast might ask. Aiyah, why can’t we see anything. Well, actually you can’t blame yourself. It’s because our Weiwo company’s technology processing is too good. I have a friend…Her name is Dong Shanshan.”

Due to the first episode, everyone could not help but laugh upon hearing Dong Shanshan’s name.

Dong Shanshan gave a look of innocence, “…”

Wang Bei roared with laughter, “He’s talking about you again, Shanshan!”

Zhang Ye said, “Those friends who watched the first episode should know. She’s my classmate from college. Right, she’s the one who goes to the stock exchange when she misses home. Back in school, she was good in her studies, especially in computer technology. So for last episode, and this episode’s live broadcast, I had pleaded for Teacher Dong Shanshan to help me do some computer processing.” He pointed towards the cameras and said, “The audience in front of your screens, the reason why you can’t see the podium in front of me is because Teacher Dong Shanshan has Photoshopped it away. Right, she has removed this table frame by frame!”

Photoshopped?

How do your Photoshop a live broadcast!

Everyone could tell what he meant as they burst out with laughter, “Hahaha!”

Zhang Ye said to the audience, “All the audience present can see this podium, right?”

“Right!”

“That’s right! Haha!”

“Pfft! There is a podium! We can bear witness!”

The live audience also followed suit and made a commotion, everyone was enjoying the joke!

Dong Shanshan, Wang Bei, Ah Qian and the others were all amused. This was self-mocking sarcasm! This sort of joke segment was generally not very effective, but Zhang Ye employed it perfectly! Zhang Ye did not fight against those doubters but instead admitted it. But the irony was that the sarcasm worked better in retaliating to their doubts and even added a sense of joy! On the surface, Zhang Ye was self-mocking. Nonsensically explaining that there was a podium in front, he wrapped his explanation up with sarcasm. This was in fact scolding those brainless fans, whom did not believe that he had gone off-script for the whole episode, and that they had no common sense!

……

Viewers on the internet were all tickled with joy!

“Aiyo! Hahahaha!”

“Well said, Teacher Zhang!”

“Teacher Zhang Ye. If you say it like that, that Korean might even believe you’re for real. His intelligence is infinitely close to zero. Who knows he might even post something like ‘See, what did I tell you, Zhang Ye does use a teleprompter’, hahaha!”

“Right off the bat, he’s being sarcastic about Lee Parkwoo’s intelligence level! Teacher Zhang is indeed still that temperamental guy we know! From Beijing to Shanghai! But his temper remains the same!”

“Mighty!”

“Angrily praising Teacher Zhang Ye!”

“What did I say, what did I say! Lee Parkwoo scolded Zhang Ye? You really don’t know who he is! It’s been so many months already. Those cursing buzzwords trending on the internet, the top 5 curses still originates from Teacher Zhang Ye. No one has been able to surpass him! You still dare to scold him? You must be looking for death! With that mouth of his, even a living person can be said until he’s dead. And a dead person can be said until he lives again! Hahaha! Look, now you are being scolded already, right?”

……

The live audience was also delighted!

Although they thought that this was the end with Zhang Ye changing topics after retorting, they realized how naive they were the next moment!

Zhang Ye stared into the camera and said, “So, that Korean friend who scolded me on Weibo, you are right. I’m really shocked. I never expected you to see through it. I was using such a method to cheat. Hai, I’m so embarrassed. I never expected there to be mountains beyond mountains, and heavens beyond heavens!”

“Hahahaha!”

“Lee Parkwoo is a dumbass!”

A member of the audience shouted very loudly, so it could be heard!

Zhang Ye quickly interrupted him, “Don’t scold people. Please don’t scold. Actually, we should talk things out nicely. This is a mistake brought about by culture and geographical distances, so it is understandable.”

The person was stunned, “Ah?”

Ah Qian also blinked, “Why is Teacher Zhang speaking up for the Korean?”

The other audience and the netizens online looked at him completely with clueless expressions. Impossible, this wasn’t Zhang Ye’s style!

Zhang Ye surprised everyone by being so magnanimous. He said earnestly, “Actually I feel quite helpless seeing people scolding Teacher Lee Parkwoo. Everyone has their bright spots. Let me ask you. Have you heard him sing? Have you watched his television dramas? Do you know him as a person?”

Everyone was momentarily speechless.

If they were honest with themselves, many of them had actually never seen Lee Parkwoo’s shows. They had only cursed him because he had garnered too much hatred with his words.

The youth who had just cursed even lowered his head. He was ashamed for his actions!

Teacher Zhang Ye was the one who was gracious! Teacher Zhang was indeed magnanimous! He actually objectively spoke up for Lee Parkwoo!

Then, they heard Zhang Ye speaking in a righteous, fair and objective manner, “So I always believe that only after you watch his television dramas, and walk into his world, will you be like me, in which you understand him as a person, you will definitely have the same thoughts as mine. That is, what the JB* is this!”

The youth, who was repenting his actions, immediately turned stunned. Then with an ‘Aiyo’, he held his belly as he laughed loudly, “Hahahaha! Aiyah! I am laughing so hard I have stitches!”

The other audiences were stunned for a second!

Then immediately with a gasp! The sound of laughter exploded!

*In China, JB is short for 鸡巴 (jī bā), or penis.